Seniors caring for a spouse with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease face unique challenges as the disease progresses and their couple relationship changes. While a person with dementia still wants to make their own decisions, their ability to understand complex matters will become more difficult over time. Eventually, they may be completely unable to perform certain tasks such as handling finances or doing household chores so it’s important to prepare in advance.
Tip 1 – Understand Your Finances
If you are taking care of a spouse with Alzheimer’s or dementia, you may eventually have to take on the task of looking after your financial and legal matters. Take time to review important documents such as your will and trust, insurance policies, property deeds, bank, investment, and retirement accounts, and seek professional help if you don’t fully understand them. Also, consider creating two important legal documents; a durable power of attorney and a health care directive. A durable power of attorney document for financial matters and a similar medical power of attorney or health care directive allows you to make both financial and health care decisions for your spouse if they no longer have the capacity to make these decisions for themselves.
Tip 2 – Try to Reduce Frustrations
A spouse with dementia can easily become frustrated and angry because a task that seems simple to you is now difficult for them. Anticipate that doing tasks will take longer and always be patient. Try providing simple and clear one-step instructions and allowing them to do as much as possible without assistance.
Tip 3 – Do “In-the-Moment” Activities
Memory loss gradually changes your spouse’s brain and how you relate to each other over time. This loss of shared memories can often lead to feelings of isolation and a loss of connection in the relationship. On the other hand, doing “in-the-moment” activities together that don’t require a lot of thinking like listening to music, watching a show, taking a walk, or playing with a pet can help rebuild intimacy and improve emotional connection.
Tip 4 – Take Time for Yourself
Full-time caregiving can cause stress and lead to depression. If you are caring for a spouse with dementia or Alzheimer’s it’s important to have relationships, activities, and hobbies that you can enjoy solo apart from your spouse. Taking time for yourself and doing activities that are meaningful to you will help reduce stress, improve your health and allow you to manage the challenges of caregiving better.
Tip 5 – Don’t Do It Alone
Fulltime caregiving is incredibly difficult and you shouldn’t have to do it all by yourself. Be flexible in your caregiving and consider all possible options. Help and support services such as transportation or meal delivery may be available in your community. If possible, consider hiring a home-care worker to support caregiving duties or a housekeeper for everyday chores such as cooking and cleaning. Sharing responsibilities with someone else can make things easier and lead to a better quality of life for both you and your spouse.
The Caregiver Stress Assessment
Caring for a spouse with dementia or Alzheimer’s can strain even the most thoughtful and patient person to their breaking point and it’s only natural to feel tired, angry, frustrated, and sad. The danger is becoming so focused on caring for your spouse that you don’t even realize that your own health is suffering. The caregiver stress assessment will help you determine if your own health may be at risk.
Review the following questions and answer with either often, sometimes, or never.
- Do you have difficulty falling asleep at night?
- Do you feel overwhelmed or constantly worried?
- Do you find yourself becoming more easily angry or upset?
- Have you had any recent health issues? (high blood pressure, headaches, body pains)
- Have you gained or lost a large amount of weight?
- Have you given up hobbies or activities you previously enjoyed?
- Are you spending less time with others?
- Are you feeling isolated and lonely?
If you answered “sometimes” or “often” you may want to consider assisted living.
When to Consider Assisted Living
Being a good caregiver means balancing your spouse’s needs with your own needs. Moving your spouse to assisted living may be the right step for your own health and well-being while also providing your spouse with a healthy, comfortable, and safe living environment.
Consider assisted living if:
- They have become aggressive or violent
- They have tried to leave the house or are at high risk of getting lost
- They need help with dressing, bathing, and going to the toilet
- Their health has declined to the point where they need constant supervision and care
- You feel overwhelmed by the stress and responsibility of taking care of both of you
We’re Here to Help
Moving a spouse to assisted living is never an easy decision but knowing what questions to ask and knowing what safety procedures are in place can help ease your mind during this difficult transition.
We are offering in-person, phone, Zoom, and FaceTime consultations including virtual tours of senior living and assisted living communities and residential homes. Currently, there are long-term care and assisted living communities accepting residents, and now is an excellent time to make a reservation as there are promotions that will end soon.
We will guide you through the entire process – ALL AT NO COST TO YOU.
Call Ron Passaro at 310-428-8221. The Passaro Group is here for you.
